Ch:5 Our first camp out

Adventures in Van Life: A Comedy of Errors, Starlink Woes, and Unintentional Poop Humor

"Notice: no photos occurred. Did it even happen? After fixing up the beast came the fun part. Testing the system. Seeing if it was truly as amazing as we were thinking it could be."

So, Alex's parents were these avid campers, the kind who plan their escape down to a 20-page itinerary. They had their van set up like a military operation, complete with rest locations carefully charted. It's like they were plotting a cross-country heist, but instead of stealing treasure, they were chasing sunsets and mosquito bites.

Our little adventure took us to a town called Eldorado, about an hour away. At this point, we assumed we had fixed most of our mechanical and electrical issues. The engine seemed happier than a cat in a sunbeam, and we were ready to graduate from the silent hum of mechanical anxiety to the sweet tunes of the radio.

Sure, we had a minor oil leak, but nothing could dampen our spirits. Well, except for a wrong turn that led to a sudden reevaluation of our co-pilot duties. It's like playing chess with the GPS, and we were caught in a checkmate of our own making.

Now, at the state park, we faced the next hurdle – dumping, also known as the faecal deposit ceremony. Our van had a black tank system, and neither of us had the faintest clue how to open it. YouTube became our wise sage, guiding us through the delicate dance of releasing our waste into the world. Success, but only a trickle of liquid made its grand exit.

Lesson learned: always tilt to the left. It turns out our vintage system needed a little encouragement from gravity. Van life – where you learn about your vehicle's digestive system more than your own.

Amidst the complex dance of poop management, we unleashed the Ooni, our culinary hero. Connected to a standard grill tank, it was like Iron Chef on wheels. Roasted peppers, sausage, rice, and a cracker/cheese tray – because nothing says "van life" like a gourmet meal in the middle of nowhere.

With the other group bidding us adieu, it was just us and my parents for the night. Early next morning, we faced the unexpected challenge of Starlink troubleshooting. The internet Gods were not smiling upon us, and we were left scratching our heads, blaming trees, aliens, or maybe a cosmic joke we weren't in on.

We all decided to pack up in the morning and head home. The return journey, surprisingly drama-free, gave us the perfect opportunity to make amends with friends in town. "Hey buddies, sorry we've been MIA – we were busy turning a van into a rolling sitcom. Wanna see?"

And that, my friends, is how we learned that van life is not just about the destination; it's about the absurd journey, the unexpected pitfalls, and the unintentional poop humor along the way.

"Toilet troubles and GPS games – the unsung ballads of the modern-day nomad."

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